…and not from the flu.

I feel a need to rant. About English essays. And their BS-iness. For example, take the introductory paragraph of the essay I’m currently writing:

What is noble? Webster’s dictionary provides several relevant definitions: possessing outstanding qualities, illustrious; of high birth or exalted rank; possessing, characterized by, or arising from superiority of mind or character or of ideals or morals. All three of these definitions can be applied to Hamlet. He proves himself noble many times over during the play, most notably in the final scene during which he dies.

Okay – the way I go about writing essays is the down-and-dirty practical way: I write exactly what I know the teacher wants to hear. But I can just feel that this one is going to be so full of BS that I need some kind of outlet. Over the course of this year, I’ve gotten used to writing a bunch of crap I don’t believe, handing it in, and consistently getting A’s. But usually, there’s some kernel of sanity to which I can cling. I haven’t found one this time. Because do you want to know my real opinion of Hamlet? He’s a pussy murderer from a predictable story who speaks in antiquated language and whom I am forced to read about by people who think they know what’s best for me. And no, I’m not a fan of Shakespeare. But I’m going to have to write this honeyed essay and fill two pages with such absolute BS (to my mind, anyway), and then have to deal with my teacher’s comments about how much the play has ‘spoken to me’ and how ‘sensitive and analytical’ a writer I am. Now, granted, clearly the situation could be worse – at least I get good grades. But it saddens me a little that I haven’t yet come up against a teacher who can see through me when I write pages and pages of crap I don’t actually think is true! Please stand by while I scream and then vomit copiously onto an Oriental rug.

Now that that’s over with…in other news, I’m nearly finished with the sleeve on the raglan and will post a horribly lopsided picture of said raglan when the sleeve is indeed finished and I am confident that I won’t rip it out yet again.

Over and out.

 

P.S. for anybody who knows me IRL, my English teacher is DeSantis, and he loves me and I HATE IT!

 

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